Today's Saturday Seattle P-I has the following front page story about an incident at a Bainbridge Island elementary school:

The victim? An unsuspecting sixth-grade teacher. The weapon? Strawberry lip gloss.

In a caper worthy of Wile E. Coyote's finest failures, two 12-year-old girls from Bainbridge Island are accused of attempting to elude punishment for a tardy assignment Thursday by poisoning their teacher, Kasey Jeffers, with a flavored lip balm they knew would make her ill.

Read more: Girls, 12, allegedly poison teacher at school (and I love the Wile E. Coyote reference).

Truly, you'd want to set an appointment reminder for about fifteen to twenty years into the future to check-in on these two young ladies and find out how their path in life has turned out.

For a Stephen King novel, this incident would be an important bit of backstory...